Holiday break or breaking point? Addressing food and family pressures in college students
Reconnecting with family after months apart for the holiday season can present challenging obstacles for students in general. While conversations about the academic year can already feel overwhelming, they may also face uncomfortable questions about their appearance or eating habits.
For college students like Laelani Perez, an FAU exercise science and health promotion senior, the holiday season can feel more stressful than joyful — due to the challenges associated with eating disorders like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder.
“What has triggered me the most during the holiday season is hearing unsolicited comments about my body image,” Perez said, as she has suffered from anorexia nervosa for almost ten years after receiving comments about her body.
“Eating disorders are not really about food and weight,” said Melanie Smith, director of clinical training at the Renfrew Center, an eating disorder treatment center for women. She said it’s actually a “manifestation” of depression, anxiety and other factors in someone’s personal experience.
As of 2023, about 14% of students nationwide suffer from an eating disorder, according to the Healthy Minds study. Smith reported that 10-20% of female college students and 4-10% of male college students receive an eating disorder diagnosis in the U.S.
“It’s hard to have a definitive number because so many people suffer in silence,” Smith said.
Megan Mikhail, a pre-doctoral psychology fellow at the University of California, San Diego, said that eating disorders can affect anyone “regardless of race, gender, weight or socioeconomic status.”
People aren’t always diagnosed and treated because they might not fit the general representation of those who struggle with disordered eating.
Smith said that people typically picture a young, thin, white woman when they think of someone with an eating disorder, because that demographic is most likely to seek and receive help.
“The big strong college athletes could develop an eating disorder just as likely as the petite girl who’s a dance major,” Smith said.
To Smith, changes in weight during their time away from family — whether due to stress, lifestyle adjustments or other factors — can leave students feeling self-conscious.
Perez added that, coming from a Hispanic household, where she said her family members are often vocal about their opinions, being home for the holidays can feel both difficult and overwhelming.
Relatives may emphasize a student’s weight gain or loss, Smith said. Additionally, students often receive mixed messages, such as “You need to eat more” while also hearing “Don’t treat yourself too much.”
Smith said regarding those who have a negative relationship with food, “all of these messages just really add fuel to the fire that likely was already burning within someone,” making their internal conflict even harder to manage.
The emotional burden students experience can go beyond external pressure from family interactions.
According to Perez, social media consumption can negatively impact a college student’s perception of themselves.
“I think eating disorders are especially prevalent in young adults because of the immense pressure we put on ourselves, especially regarding social media,” she said, stating that platforms like Instagram and TikTok project certain “societal-approved” standards that can negatively affect students.
“It can be extremely misleading to young individuals that strive for this unachievable beauty standard,” Perez added.
These ideals can manifest in different ways, especially during gatherings where food is a focal point. As Mikhail said, “Some college students may also find it challenging to participate in celebrations where food plays a central role.”
“The type and amount of food around the holidays can be very overwhelming and create a lot of anxiety,” Perez said. “I’ve learned that it’s okay to enjoy food on the holidays without guilt.”
Mikhail advised students to indulge in various enjoyable activities, like playing games and watching a movie with others, to feel less burdened by food.
Amid distress, Smith advised students to take a breather with a trusted companion.
“When you’re struggling, your first inclination might be to withdraw from people, to isolate, to kind of turn inward,” she said. “But that is actually the time when you most need to be connecting with other people.”
Before reaching that point, Smith also recommended students devise a plan with a professional before going away for the holidays to make the break more manageable.
FAU’s Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) is free for students to receive guidance, treatment and referrals. The National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) is another resource that provides support to those with eating disorders.
Friends and family can contribute to making the holiday season less intimidating for students with these struggles.
“I think the first and most important thing is to not ignore or avoid the problems,” Smith said. “I encourage people to lean in and move towards the uncomfortable conversations.”
Voicing concern based on observations in an honest and non-judgmental approach is the caring thing to do, according to Smith.
Some signs of eating disorders include extreme dieting and fitness, eating little to no food in front of others, going to the restroom immediately after eating, irritable behavior and hesitation to eat.
Mikhail recommended that loved ones “Provide a listening ear, validate the student’s emotions and ask if there are ways you can help support them. Remind your friend or family member about what you value about them that is not related to their weight or appearance,” she continued.
Being supportive can help college students feel seen and less alone in their struggles, the experts said.
Eating disorders won’t disappear with wishful thinking. Smith said that seeking early interventions and professional treatment will help address societal issues, improve recovery outcomes and provide the necessary support for long-term healing.
“For me, recovery is not a straight line,” Perez said. “It’s about being in a place where I can finally feel like myself again and not have to constantly worry about food or my body image.”
Sephora Charles is a Staff Writer for the University Press. For information regarding this or other stories, email sephoracharl2024@fau.edu.